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Sometimes what you want for Christmas won't make you happy.

"Roy! So good to see you!" I beckoned my old friend inside and hung up his coat. "How are you?"

"All right," he replied, "but I still can't grow my own coat."

I laughed at the inside joke. Roy and I had more than one common interest, but our obsession was movie monsters. We pored over pre-code comics, and he envied the werewolves even though they always died horrible deaths.

"I see college hasn't changed you," I said with a smile.

"Unfortunately not," Roy sighed. "You know what? I don't want to be a werewolf. I just want to see one. To see one and meet one, and then I'd be happy."

"Really?" I asked, skeptical.

"Really," Roy answered. "I just want to know it's for real, and move on. It doesn't have to be me, or bite me, to satisfy my curiosity."

I paused. I had a surprise for Roy, but it wasn't ready. On the other hand, Roy wouldn't be home again until Easter. I paused longer than intended.

"What?" Roy snapped. "Spill it."

"Four months ago, I went to this breakfast," I began.

"So?" Roy interrupted.

"So, I met this guy, Chad Randolf. We sat opposite each other, and we talked about cars. Mustangs and Thunderbirds."

"Werewolves are interesting. Cars aren't," Roy complained, and I gave him a dirty look.

"Four weeks ago, Abby and I went stargazing," I continued. "Clear night where everything was visible, and not too cold either. The only thing to watch out for was the edge of the cliff."

"I hope there was a full moon," Roy murmured.

"As a matter of fact, there was," I retorted, and he paid more attention. "I looked down over the edge of the cliff, and I thought I saw a wolf."

"Nice!" Roy shouted, as if that were the end. "I wish I'd been there."

"I got out my grandfather's binoculars for a closer look, but the wolf was gone," I elaborated.

"Too bad."

"Instead, Chad was there, pulling a sweatshirt over his head."

"Ha!" Roy thundered. "Did you warn him about the wolf?"

"No, he was too busy pulling on a pair of jeans and lacing up his sneakers. Then he got into a blue Ford Escort and drove away."

"Weird. What do you think he was doing getting dressed down there?"

I just stared at Roy until he turned pale.

"Wait. You don't mean…" he trailed off, and I stared at him some more. "Seriously?"

* * *

Chad lived alone in a small house on the other side of town. We approached the front door not long after dark. On the way to the door, we passed a blue Ford Escort. The tires were muddy. Roy was shaking.

"Now remember, I've only met him once. Play it cool," I instructed, and rang the doorbell.

The door opened, and Chad stood there in a jean jacket, silhouetted against a den lit by only the television set. His eyes adjusted almost immediately to what little light there was outdoors, and he smiled. "Scott! What are you doing on this side of town?"

He didn't look much like a werewolf. He was tall and slightly heavy-set, with a humble smile and several large moles on his face. He looked like a farm boy turned yuppie, but back to farm boy for the weekend. I realized he had asked me a question, and here I was studying how much he looked like a movie monster.

"Oh, I just wanted to introduce you to an old friend," I explained. "I was telling Roy here how much you know about cars," which was technically true.

"Aw, shucks," Chad demurred. "Why don't you guys come inside and sit down? It must be cold out there."

"Scott says you're a werewolf!" Roy burst out, and Chad went from bashful to ashen.

"Yeah," he admitted, and right away regretted it. "Wait, what? How did we go from cars to werewolves?" he demanded.

"That's not exactly what I said," I sputtered. "Hey, uh, why don't we go inside, and we're going to laugh so hard about everything, once I explain."

"Bite me!" Roy screamed, his shirt sleeve rolled up and his arm bobbing up and down in the inadequate moonlight.

"You and your friend need to get out of here," Chad muttered at me, not making eye contact.

"Chad, please let me explain," I pleaded as the door slammed shut. I stood there for a minute, mortified, as if the door would open again, or a window, or a bottomless pit to swallow me up and save me the embarrassment. But not even a cricket interrupted the awful, awkward silence.

I finally forced myself to look at Roy. "You heard him," I said. "Let's go."

* * *

Back at my apartment, we sat in silence. Roy stared at the ceiling, and I tried to read a book. After an eternity, I gave up, and almost smiled.

"I just realized," I announced to Roy, "you actually got your wish."

"Yeah," Roy agreed, staring off into space. Suddenly, his eyes focused, and he wrinkled his forehead. "No offense, Scott, but don't you think you could've handled that better?"
I came up with this over the holidays but have been slow to post it here.
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:iconcraytato:
I liked this story a lot :) Especially since it's about mystical creatures and so forth (My infatuation would be vampires xD) so let me go over my ratings :)
Vision: I saw the story clearly, very nice. Though there was a little unclear moment in the beginning yet the image came back as i kept reading, so youre good there.
Originality: i only gave a 3 since this IS a werewolf story, many people write stories about werewolves. Along with the plot of knowing/suspecting someone of being one and stuff.
Technique: Overall layout is general, format of the plot is also pretty common but it was good. This was one of the better ones ive read.
Impact: Not only did i find this a good story to read, it grabs the attention of the reader enough so that they would want to read more but they MIGHT have a hint since it has a hint of cliche details. But i loved this :) Im a sucker for cliche things by the way so nothing bad :)

Great job!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconshadowsmokeandfire:
Critique by shadowsmokeandfire Dec 23, 2012, 11:50:09 PM
Hey man, nice to see you again! Anyway, this story was hilarious! When it started out with that whole line about what you want not really being what you want, I thought it was going to be some sappy romance or something. Thankfully, those fears were dashed on a rock. Roy is absolutely hilarious, like an excitable kid meeting his favorite action hero and asking him to demonstrate his power. The only comment I have is that maybe, you could talk about how they used to spend time looking for the werewolves, but after they grew up, it was put on the back burner for more important things.
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3 out of 3 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconglitteringstars:
GlitteringStars Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
This story is one I'd definitely like to see more of. Especially because of Roy. Great work!
Reply
:iconglitteringstars:
GlitteringStars Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Pfft, Roy can be so foolish! I'm cracking up from it!
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Jul 19, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I wanted to write about the time he went on a date, but it just never came together.

Chad has his own sequel, too, albeit less silly.
Reply
:iconglitteringstars:
GlitteringStars Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Could you link it to me?

I just got an idea! I could work with you to get some more written! How does that sound?
Reply
:iconmoonlightstrider:
MoonlightStrider Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahah this is amazing, I would admit if I was a werewolf and somebody started knocking on my door asking to be bit i'd be like "I don't know you, get lost"
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Happy you enjoyed it!

Poor Chad.  I still feel bad for a fictional character three and a half years later.
Reply
:iconmoonlightstrider:
MoonlightStrider Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Sign of a good story, if the author feels sympathy for their own characters.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner May 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I feel sympathy for Roy, but he's still a tool.  :D
Reply
:iconvampyreofthenight:
VampyreoftheNight Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2013  Student Writer
two words. Love it :squee:
Reply
:iconsinzuthegreat:
SinzutheGreat Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013
Damn, that guy was so totally rejected.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You mean Roy?
Reply
:iconsinzuthegreat:
SinzutheGreat Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Yeah.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
If a stranger showed up at my door and shouted, "Bite me!" he should expect an even harsher rejection.  ;)
Reply
:iconsinzuthegreat:
SinzutheGreat Featured By Owner Sep 30, 2013
Yeah... Wait, are you saying you're a werewolf!? :icondundundunplz:
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Sorry, I only tell other werewolves.
Reply
:iconsinzuthegreat:
SinzutheGreat Featured By Owner Oct 1, 2013
Other werewolves? THAT IMPLIES YOU ARE A WEREWOLF!!!
Reply
:iconbookloverblue:
bookloverblue Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
A funny piece. The closing line is great, as is the story's premise. Roy's like a crazed fan crossed with a paranormal investigator.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Much obliged!  Nice to meet you.
Reply
:iconphoenix-firemage:
Phoenix-FireMage Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Scott wasn't the one who didn't handle it very well, Roy!
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
La la la he can't hear you.

Thank you for the favorite!
Reply
:iconphoenix-firemage:
Phoenix-FireMage Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I know... hm, maybe he should meet Lowell, a young werewolf in one of my stories. As long as he doesn't freak out too awfully bad, they'd probably be pretty good friends.
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I've often wondered how Chad would react to meeting another werewolf.  I think well, as long as he didn't feel threatened.

Roy, on the other hand, probably would bug any werewolf to death.  I still like him, though.

Which story contains Lowell?
Reply
:iconphoenix-firemage:
Phoenix-FireMage Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Lowell's never met another werewolf either...

Fanboy bug him to death?

It's not a story I have up on DA. Sorry. I haven't written enough of it.

Maybe we could roleplay and have them meet. As long as you don't mind Lowell's best friend tagging along.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't really roleplay, but I'd love to talk more about it.
Reply
:iconphoenix-firemage:
Phoenix-FireMage Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Don't really roleplay? That's okay. So by talk more about it, you mean... talk about the stories, or what?
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I'd like to hear more about your character from you.
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconweekendhunters:
weekendhunters Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well, good thing that didn't escalate into something worse, that's for sure.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Aug 2, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Escalate, not so much.  Roy went on looking for werewolves, though.
Reply
:iconbracey100:
Bracey100 Featured By Owner Mar 26, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Oh man! And this is why you cant share some stuff with even you best friends! That was the best werewolf meets nerd story of all time!
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thanks, Bracey! Roy and Chad each got his own sequel, in case you're interested.
Reply
:iconbracey100:
Bracey100 Featured By Owner Mar 27, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
Send me some links and I'll gladly read them. They kinda remind me some fun stuff like John Dies at the End. I could read a novel with these guys as the protagonists.
Reply
:iconscathmactire:
ScathMactire Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
chad is really close to my name...
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Mar 21, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I had to tweak his name to protect his privacy.
Reply
:iconscathmactire:
ScathMactire Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
its kinda funny for a certain reason
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Care to explain?
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by =DailyLitDeviations in a news article that can be found here: [link]

Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article. Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Jan 24, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Holy cow! Thank you so much!
Reply
:iconsergiopricklywolf:
SergioPricklywolf Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
I love the ending there, do you find yourself not feeling like the story is complete until you can think of a wry closing line? I do quite enjoy humor as a capstone to a story.

Roy is kind of a tool, though. Sheesh. Easy man, be cool...
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think I had the closing line before the rest of the story.

I figure Roy's the sort of friend who's loyal to a fault, but a little thick at times. He's based on one of my best friends, but being a tool is specific to the character.
Reply
:iconsergiopricklywolf:
SergioPricklywolf Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Oh, okay, that makes sense that you had that ending in mind from the start.

Actually, how common is that? Do you know every time you start a story how it will end?
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
For me, pretty common.
Reply
:iconsergiopricklywolf:
SergioPricklywolf Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Ah, okay, I wonder how often that's the case with people that write, hmm...
Reply
:iconsergiopricklywolf:
SergioPricklywolf Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Yeah, this is pretty encouraging, as far as my expectations for the rest of your stories. On to the next one!
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner May 31, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you, kind bird of prey.
Reply
:iconfuriousfur:
furiousfur Featured By Owner May 9, 2012
ha ha great! slightly embarrassing there..... XD

your style of writing is so unique. its brilliant!
Reply
:iconjoeyliverwurst:
JoeyLiverwurst Featured By Owner May 10, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Only slightly? ;)

And hey, ˇmuchas gracias!
Reply
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